Book Review

Book Review: Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them by Dr Susan Forward and Joan Torres. 

We each choose the best way we can to deal with difficulties in our lives, and these patterns are often unconscious because they begin in childhood, either inherited from our significant others, or from ways we develop through books, films and other influences. Many are maladaptions, that is, not the best way to deal with situations. Take for instance, when someone is angry with us, whether we escalate that anger, or manage to reduce it so we can get through the impasse to an improvement. 

Many of us in childhood, have to be the prettiest, cleverest, richest, most intelligent, most caring, most desirable, funniest, hardworking, the one who wants attention, the one who is the quietest, etcetera. In our adult life, we still might be playing those old stressful recordings, with some being vain, jealous, greedy, hurtful, needing to be the exception, to be a good provider, to duck and dive, the highest achiever, to get more than their share of life’s securities and comforts and flashy gizmos, and to be the most entitled, in the demand to achieve what once their parents desired or expected of them. We live life under huge stresses to achieve these things. 

 

Mr Wonderful! How does misogyny affects the lives of men and women, how does it affect our relationships, our health and finances, our life in general? Many of us are swept along by romanticism, confluence, when we are learning about the other person, on high hormones, when the mood of love is contagious. We ignore a poor record in previous relationships, lack of a fulfilled life, self imposed problems, chaos, addictions, poor handling of money and other responsibilities. An inner life should be a satisfactory one as it reflects into the outer world. 

 

Does Prince Charming have a dark side? Do we overlook self-centred behaviour or point it out in a loving way? Do you try to change your behaviour rather than expect him to change his? You are not a mind reader or an ever flowing breast of goodness, being a tower of strength is a hard task that requires recognition! Your emotional security should not depend on any one else. You do not need to renounce your own needs and wishes. Negotiation, compromise and sharing is required. Subjugation is not an option! 

Review: Wendy Stokes