Bullying!

There are always posts on social media about narcissism and psychopathy, but bullying is a symptom, often seen from childhood that develops - if allowed to and not addressed - into a personality disorder that includes these two very common traits. 

Bullying features extraordinary strategies that are easily identified. It is amazing that young children display these strategies, but if we look at dogs especially and other pack animals, such as apes and chimps, we see these strategies are being portrayed. Humans are also pack animals and bullying is a pack animal behaviour. 

Bullying involves a perpetrator and a victim and the bully uses personal attacks, put-downs, invalidations, accusations, name calling, blaming, intimidation, aggression, threats, criticisms and judgements, shaming, slander or libel, in fact, anything that controls and undermines the victim’s confidence, and removes their standing and credibility in the eyes of others, so they are silenced and left powerless and distraught. It is very stressful for the victim who will often suffer mental health problems, such as anxiety, panic attacks, depression and loss of self esteem, and inability to concentrate. They may also have physical illness related to stress, and often they don’t do well in school or in the workplace, taking time out to avoid the bully. The perpetrator feels all powerful and satisfied with their abilities to cause trauma. Usually jealousy is the cause! 

How is this destructive behaviour allowed to take place in the school yard, in work situations, in neighbourly disputes, between those who were in a marriage or who were once friends? The perpetrator separates the victim from those likely to give any support, yes, but there is more than that! The perpetrator makes the abuse of their victim public, and witnesses who could rush to support the victim, prefer to collude with the destructive behaviour because they know that while the perpetrator is focussed on the victim, they will be safe from the same bullying treatment aimed at themselves. They become willing bystanders, afraid the bully will turn on them. They may even support the bully because they realise the bully has all the power, they will be the unrivalled winner of any confrontation, so they join in bullying the victim too! It is another football game where the strongest survive, a game without morality, where there is no integrity and no empathy for the loser! It is this pack mentality that ends marriages, causes violence and murder, ruthlessly exploits the poorest in society, ruins lives, and creates world wars.

Wendy Stokes https://wendystokes.co.uk