By Karen Tate

My gateway into Goddess Spirituality was via the teachings of Dianic women immersed in Women's Mysteries and Goddess herstory.  I owe them a debt of gratitude for introducing me to Goddess but this relationship wasn’t without many challenges. Like a “cafeteria catholic” moving down the food line of spiritual beliefs, choosing what ideas resonated with me, I put some of their ideas on my tray of life and rejected others leaving them to dry out on the sterno.

I was interested in a Feminine Face of God and not a male God so much. Christianity and patriarchy turned me off to institutional  man-made dogma, religion and Jesus for a long time. For me, the male God could be a consort of Goddess, perhaps her equal, provided she maintained her full autonomy and authority. Think of the Super Couple of Isis and Osiris for example. The feminist aspects of Dianics also appealed to me. Coming from a lower-middle-class family, growing up without a lot, I understood the importance of feminism to lift us all up to achieve equality. So the female empowerment aspect, the primary deity as female, feminism and herstory were really attractive concepts of Dianic Spirituality.

What I had real problems with among Dianics was the female superiority, lack of inclusion and the idea for many that Goddess Spirituality was based on a woman’s body and cycles.  And so many women I knew, hetero and lesbian alike, could have cared less if men dropped off the face of the earth - as if parthogenesis (conceiving without male sperm) was still a thing. Today it seems within the ranks of Dianics discrimination falls perhaps less on men and more heavily on trans people because of the Right-Wing theocratic Heritage Foundation propaganda against people questioning their sex/gender and the fear mongering about the erasure of women. But that's a topic for another newsletter.

 

Karen and Roy on a Sacred Tour to Minoan Crete
 

As I disagreed with Dianics in their discrimination of men, even making a lot of waves by not conforming and speaking up for good men, I understood so many Dianic women had been assaulted, knew loved ones who had been raped or never met a decent male partner, with few having any connection to good men growing up.  Patriarchy has really brainwashed and damaged men in very bad ways and women wanted and felt entitled to exclude them and enjoy safe sacred space.  I couldn’t disagree.  But if there was no place for men and the Sacred Masculine in Goddess Spirituality, if our religion was going to be based on women’s cycles and that was central to our core beliefs, then what about our sons, our worthy male partners and friends and our truly supportive male spouses?  I believed the values of Goddess Spirituality could save the world!  Could we really be expected to leave the other half of the species behind and exclude them from our spirituality? In my mind, that wasn’t healthy, realistic, moral or sustainable. And today I make the same case for trans people. Goddess is about love, not exclusion.

Well, you probably guessed I didn’t go along to get along and leave my wonderful and caring husband behind. I pushed the envelope as far as possible, annoying a few hardcore anti-male Dianics along the way as Roy accompanied me to many "neutral" places and in the process I think we opened the eyes of many women who met Roy and felt his energy.  Several told me over the years our relationship gave them hope they might too find a man, a true partner, like Roy, who was the wind beneath my wings.  Roy was my partner on sacred tours often making sure no woman got left behind as the group moved along on our journeys.  He built my first website and drew the Egyptian murals on our temple walls. He supported my work as an author, speaker and podcaster and never argued with me about the money I spent to manifest our Isis Temple.  In fact, it was Roy who made sure we purchased the Sekhmet statue that was on loan to the Goddess Temple of Orange County in Southern California for a number of years.  He’d cook meals for dinner if I was up against a writing deadline. If someone crossed the line and stepped on me he was my protector. Simply put he was and is my other half.  I considered him a great role model or avatar for the Sacred Masculine.  I couldn't imagine thinking or acting as if he was my lesser half. Or I was superior to him.  We were partners who complimented each other.  So, like Solomon trying to split the baby, I thread the needle of belonging to community with one foot in the Pagan community open to all people, Gods and Goddesses while the other foot remained in the Dianic community of Goddess and women - until we started our own not-for-profit which was inclusive of everyone.  Even the occasional God slipped in, like Jesus, Osiris, Anubis, Thoth the god of doctors, the remover of obstacles, Ganesh, and the weather God, Zeus. 
 

This all came back to me as I started getting a feeling for Tim Walz, running mate of Vice President Kamala Harris.  Last month I wrote the piece Mamala Sekhmet as I so clearly saw and felt Kamala Harris and Sekhmet as reflections of each other. A Harris administration might signal the real societal and cultural “birth” in a mainstream way of Divine Feminine energy and values in our society – and Tim Walz reminded me of Roy and the good men I know who love women and Goddess.  Who don’t feel diminished by women’s leadership. Who are fine being partners, even taking a back seat if the better leader was the woman in the group.  Men who are in touch with their feelings rather than robbing themselves and us of our emotions and dreams. Men who are not threatened by women with rights or wives who make more money or having to stay home to help take care of their kids.  I can’t imagine these types of real men ever saying to their wife, “Do I have to babysit the kids?”

These are the desirable men who get dates, who are marriage material, who women can build a life with.  Who women would leave their cats at home for and might even give a foot rub.  Men who have never been infected with toxic masculinity or embrace violence. Who would see the sickness and misogyny of the incel and instead embrace his role as protector rather than being a bully or aggressor. A man who could be a wise steward of Earth rather than Her rapist. A man who would never under any circumstances commit domestic violence or use his penis as a weapon.  And he’d never see these values or qualities or way of life as weak.  He’s in touch with his feminine side and has a more balanced and emotionally healthy psyche. Incels should take note and work on themselves instead of feeling entitled to women's favors. 

Getting back to Tim Walz, I heard a young woman say in a television interview Tim reminded her of what her Dad might be today if he hadn’t fallen prey to Fox News and Trump’s cult.  Her loss broke my heart.  So many good men have been lost to toxic masculinity, violence, misogyny and patriarchal evil.  Check out The Manual with Tim Walz.

Thom Hartman reminded me this morning of men who have failed miserably at being "real men" - Remember these guys?  Republicans all...  Mike Huckabee said Democrats make women "believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar...because they cannot control their libido."  Todd Akin who famously said women can't get pregnant from "legitimate rape" - an idea the GOP governors of Texas and Florida also believe.  Joe Walsh who claimed that "you can't find one instance" of a life-threatening pregnancy that might require an abortion.  Paul Ryan who called rape "a method of contraception, " while JD Vance castigated "childless cat ladies" and believes women should stay in abusive marriages for the children and post-menopausal women's role in life is caring for grandchildren.  In the South, we called these men the ones who expected women's lives to be shackled to the stove and washing machine, barefoot and pregnant.

And this isn't just about men taking away women's rights to their bodies. In this month of Domestic Violence Awareness, it's about men who torture, abuse, exploit and  bully women and have no empathy. Men whose egos cannot tolerate female leadership, listening to others' viewpoints, who must dominate and have power over others.  Emotionally crippled men who have no ability to be in partnership and collaborate. Men who hold others down instead of lifting them up. 

Now I’m in no way implying I know anything about Tim’s spirituality, but he’s got a long record of caring about people and you can sense his energy.  We’ve all got eyes and ears to see and hear him.  I’d like to think those of us who haven’t given up on men and who have had good men in our lives can recognize the good ones of potential.  We might call it Good-Guy-Dar aka good guy radar. The ones who can be held up as avatars, archetypes and role models and might mentor the next generation of boys and men into embracing values and a lifestyle we in Goddess Spirituality would associate with what we call the Sacred Masculine. I believe Tim Walz is one of these men and having him in the White House as a role model and mentor the next four years could do our country, and the psyche of everyone everywhere, a lot of good.  In fact, he's already doing it!  And let's not forget Douglas Emhoff, Kamala's husband.  He's a pretty great example of the Sacred Masculine as well. I can't wait to see how these two men re-write the narrative of what it means to be a "real man." By Karen Tate.